Why do bad things happen to Calvin Klein models?

As this murky, undercover video shows, Calvin Klein model Tyson Ballou recently returned home to discover that burglars had stripped the place of all furnishings, rugs, art, photographs, food and comfort, leaving nothing but a hollow concrete shell; well that and Lara Stone, fellow Calvin Klein house model/burglary victim. Trooper though she is, Lara found it impossible to get comfortable on the cold concrete floor of the house, and following what seems like an eternity (by Calvin Klein) laying on freezing cold surfaces, poor Lara could take it no more. She confronted Tyson (in a minimalist, unemotional kind of way) about the lack of warmth in their now terrifyingly stark flat, and stormed off by convertible car and private jet (how very 2007 of her) into the arms, and more importantly, warmly furnished bedroom of her back up lover -- an unseen billionaire reported to be in the soft furnishings business.

Model Massacre

Eva Mendes and Jamie Dornan crushed by flying board.

Eva Mendes and Jamie Dornan have enjoyed a spectacular run as Calvin Klein’s favorite underwear models, but evidently that run has now come to a tragic end. According to photographs in Calvin Klein’s Spring 2010 campaign, Eva and Jamie were modeling their socks off at a sandy beach locale when suddenly a huge wooden beam from a nearby construction site came crashing down upon them.  Jamie caught the hurtling board mere millimeters from Eva’s naked chest, saving her from being sliced in two…at least for a moment.  But the weight of the board and the awkwardness of their modeling position eventually proved too much for him, and, well, designer Francisco Costa is now said to be on the look out for two new faces - preferably with bodies attached.